So here i reside, comfortable in my stanford dormitory, with all the amenities and facilities that a near $40,000 tuition better goddamn afford. here i drift there i drift. orientation has brought me into a longed-for social contact with those with "similar interests," but amongst them i am still adrift. serious people with serious goals. and its to them that i try to lie and stretch my love for something i'd rather hide? such envy pains, such a pervasive envy at the ambitions emanating from those around me.